it’s as simple as that

and from the lungs of a child
will come the everlasting breath of God

increasing peace and honesty
and not carrying on despite of me

it’s as simple as that, as simple as that, as simple as that

it’s got to be as simple as that, children
oh, you’ll see Lord

and if I don’t know who to love
i love them all
and if I don’t know who to trust
i trust them all
and if I don’t know who to kill
no suicide
i’m already dead

–brothers unaware, live

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the lighthouse lost its light on her a long time ago / she got so used to it, this long and winding road / i’ll never ever let you go / “i can’t believe” she whispered to me / i don’t wanna breathe

—Lighthouse, Live

First day at the new job was today.  Last day at the old job is tomorrow.

And I think I’ll always probably wonder, in eight months, did I even help to change anything in them?

. . . Or did they just change me?

12 of 12 – may ‘11!

On the 12th of each month, a bunch of bloggers take 12 pictures throughout the day.  Here are my pictures for May 12th, 2011!

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9: 04 am – Athletic Center Nap Area.  Here I was trying to do readings, and there were HUNDREDS of high school kids roaming around and screaming in the nap area.  I have no idea why they were on campus, but they were highly distracting.

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9:38 am – Nap area.  Finally I got sick of them and got up and weaved through about 300 more of them and grabbed a London Fog and a muffin.  And then, magically, they were gone!  [The field in the background is where my class played tag last week!]

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2:36 pm – mall.  Lucas.  They honestly do NOT get cuter than my friend Kelly’s son.

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4:02 pm – kitchen.  Life of a kinesiology student.  Gym clothes and textbooks about physical activity are seriously cluttering my kitchen.  It’s mandatory for me to wear gym clothes [including sweatpants] to school on gym prac days, so it ends up all over the place, as do old textbooks that are applicable to current papers.

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4:05 pm – bathroom.  Exciting, eh?  So I figure that being a vegetarian who often forgets to eat until, you know, two PM and is semi-active, I should probably start taking vitamins again.  Centrum makes vitamins called Performance that have higher levels of B-vitamins, but at the pharmacy I looked at on Tuesday they were $26.  At Shoppers, they were $16.  I bought the store-brand and they were $10 for 5 more.  Yay vitamins?

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4:11 pm – kitchen.  My hard drive works a ton better when I actually plug it into my computer.  Makes sense.

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6:22 pm – kitchen.  Have seriously been listening to this song all day.

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6:31 pm – bathroom.  I no lie am dumb enough that I went into the bathroom to use the mirror to take a picture of the shirt I was wearing, only to realize that, DUH, the words would be backwards.  Why I did not take this one in my room is a mystery.  Anyway, that is the shirt I am wearing today.

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6:55 pm – costco.  WHY ARE THE COSTCO CARTS SO FREAKING TALL??  Also why does everybody pronounce it “cosco” instead of “cosTco”?  By the way, CosTco only seems to have workout pants in large and extra large.  Do they believe that small people like myself don’t have to work out?!

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8:07 pm – marble slab.  Sam and I went for ice cream to the Marble Slab.  You know, to pay $8.25 for ice cream.  It was delicious, though—called Girl’s Best Friend or something, b-day cake ice cream, brownie bits and cookie dough with chocolate syrup blended in . . . and in a white-chocolate waffle-bowl.  I did indeed find happiness within the container.

NEED to work out tomorrow.

DSCF7827 8:55 pm – bedroom.  We then came back to my house and sat in my room for all of three songs with the hippie lights on.

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9:35 pm – wal-mart.  Then we went to Wal-Mart on a mission.  Except it involved actually buying stuff and not shenanigans [whoa, that video was a year ago yesterday!].  PS. I hate wal-mart.

12 of 12 was created by Chad Darnell.  To see all the other 12s from around the world, check out his site as he’s been gracious to let us infiltrate his blog space with our links for another year!  Thanks Chad!

the distance

i’ve been to pretty buildings, all in search of You

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i have lit all the candles . . . sat in all the pews

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. . .

oh the distance is not doable / in these bodies of clay my brother / oh the distance makes me uncomfortable / guess it’s natural to feel this way. / we’re locked to these bodies / let’s hold out for something sweeter . . .

my car became the church and i / the worshipper of silence there / in a moment peace came over me / and the One who was beating my heart appeared

this distance is dreaming / we’re already there tonight

the distance, live

Sometimes, things just summate my experiences, my thoughts so perfectly.  Live lyrics – they do that a lot.  I’ve listened to this song countless times today.  Images of still empty churches, deserted pews.  Stillness.

So hitting me – and so, so good.

in the country, everybody thinks we’re dumb

There is no doubt I’m a city girl.  I go away from the city for too long and my Chucks are begging for concrete.  However, I stay in the city for too long, and I’m begging to get out of here by any means possible.  I’m kind of like a hybrid—though, generally more efficient in the city.

in the country the farms and the orchards swell with oranges and peaches / a little bit of truth as well / in the city, politicians beat their drum / all the suits come around and it’s our degeneration

life marches on / life marches on . . .

in the country everybody thinks we’re dumb / we build the fire / why’d you come and get you some?  / in the city, skyscrapers touch the sky / what’s the use of being so high when it’s only gonna bring you down

in the country stars shine brighter / than in the city / in the country, in the country

in the city i turn on the radio / only leaves me down with the question “what happened to our generation?”

Life Marches On, Live

I require some country in me sometimes.  I’m good with some time on my own.  I need some time on my own.  I’m too contemplative, probably too sensitive, to not need time alone when I’m feeling reflective.  I’ve written hundreds upon hundreds of pages of just stuff, filled dozens of notebooks contemplating.  At the cabin, at the other cabin, on the road, in hotel rooms, in airplanes, in cars and trucks and buses.  Contemplation of life, of school, of problems and then . . . of God.  And God’s presence in life, in school, in problems.  Hours with a video camera, a still camera, capturing moments.  Maybe that’s why I do all this – capture moments.

The country, I think, gives us a better connection with the world around us, because it takes away much of that clutter that we deal with every day.  the stars shine brighter.  Metaphorically or literally, the air is clearer.  We can reflect and see things reflect.

I’m a city girl.  I love my concrete.  But, I think I was socialized with a little bit of gravel road in me too.

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and in this moment i am happy . . . happy.

i wish you were here, incubus

turn my head – live

This song is so hitting me hard right now.  Love it.

anyone caught in your mystery. / keep it angry . . . keep it wispy. / i’ve fallen down / drunk on your juices

turn my head / it’s aimed at you

funky temple / your dress is torn to shreds / your eyes are crazy / about to save my head and / i can’t forget you / but i can’t remember

we came to love you / all day these bastards are leaving / somebody’s got to stay / whatever we called you / it’s just a name, just a name

Turn My Head // Live

That’s the thing I love about Live.  They make me think really hard.  And sometimes, still come to no conclusion.

I have thoughts of redemption—but be it spiritual or something else, I’m not sure.  As some people on SongMeanings are arguing, yes, there’s an element of relationships with God, but it also brings something else, because some parts don’t fit into that equation.

Whatever we called you . . . it’s just a name.  Best line of the song, right there.  See also: funky temple. 

Heck yes.

and i am overcome

I’m sharing my testimony at youth on Friday night to the junior highs.  I think in some situations, things just fall together how they’re supposed to be.

I’ve never shared my story more than casually—at Starbucks over coffee, sitting on the floor in my room.  Never to more than one person at a time.  That’s about to change, and I’m really, really excited about it, actually.  I think this is something that God has been stirring in me to do for quite some time.  Friday’s theme is Getting Past my Past, and I think I’ve done a lot of that over the last five and a half years . . . and a lot of realizing that because of God, my past is my past, and it does not have to be my present or my future because of His gift of life.

even now the world is bleeding / but feeling just fine / all numb in our castle / where we’re always free to choose / never free enough to find / i wish something would break / cause we’re running out of time

and i am overcome / holy water in my lungs / i am overcome

there’s women in the street pulling out their hair / my Master’s in the yard, giving light to the unaware / this plastic little place / is just a step amongst the stairs

and i am overcome, baby / holy water in my lungs

so drive me out / out to that open field / turn the ignition off / and spin around / your help is here / but i’m parked in this open space / unlocking the gates of love

beautiful drowning / this beautiful drowning / this holy water / this holy water / is in my lung / and i am overcome / i am overcome / i-i-i am overcome

i am overcome, Lord

overcome, live