the distance

i’ve been to pretty buildings, all in search of You

road trip '08 etc 074

i have lit all the candles . . . sat in all the pews

road trip '08 etc 014 

. . .

oh the distance is not doable / in these bodies of clay my brother / oh the distance makes me uncomfortable / guess it’s natural to feel this way. / we’re locked to these bodies / let’s hold out for something sweeter . . .

my car became the church and i / the worshipper of silence there / in a moment peace came over me / and the One who was beating my heart appeared

this distance is dreaming / we’re already there tonight

the distance, live

Sometimes, things just summate my experiences, my thoughts so perfectly.  Live lyrics – they do that a lot.  I’ve listened to this song countless times today.  Images of still empty churches, deserted pews.  Stillness.

So hitting me – and so, so good.


my God is full of awesome

don’t look at the past again / the first and last has made everything new / and you are too / so lift your hands / and let your story be told

Break Your Knees, Flyleaf

The power of worship, community and love just overwhelms me sometimes. And the power of any of these things would not be able to exist without a very loving, powerful and overwhelming God.

Ground Zero tonight was awesome—inspiring, refreshing, recharging.

There is something very awesome about praying with your sisters in Christ—praying with people who are perhaps just discovering the redemptive love of Jesus in their lives.  There is something very awesome about being on your knees in awe of all that God can, has and WILL do.  There is something very awesome about feeling the stillness, the love and the PRESENCE and WHOLENESS of God.

There is something awesome about knowing that no matter what, He CAN and WILL make it all become okay and that we can TRUST Him in that—that we can trust him in anything.

There is nothing more awesome.  There is nothing more I could want in life than to know MORE of that awesome.

Reading through my old poetry and lyrics from 2003-2006.  It really reminds me of just how screwed up I actually was, how broken I actually was.  Yet, amidst the destruction, the death that was written, there was hope splattered here and there.  And that shocks me.

And makes me believe that yes, God was on my side long before I was on His side . . . and long, long before I was on my own side. 

It took me awhile to be on my own side.

i’m letting You drive – here i am right where i belong

–drive, ed kowalczyk

I think I’ve mentioned before I’m not a big fan of proselytism/freaky evangelism.  Evidently guilt tripping people toward Jesus works on some level.  If it didn’t, people like Franklin Graham would be out a job.  You cant tell me that the dude doesn’t profit somehow off of converting people to Christianity (read: books, music festivals).

I really don’t believe Jesus would dig guilt tripping.  Stuff like “you’re going to hell.” or “you’re sinning” if you don’t believe in Him. Evidently if people don’t believe in Jesus as God they don’t CARE about the guilt-tripping anyway because they probably don’t believe in hell anyways (I don’t know if I even believe in hell, but that’s another post).

I don’t believe trying to convert people, trying to “lead” people to Christianity works.  I think it’s all on God.  That doesn’t mean we can’t pray for people—“we choose the way we want to live, but only God makes us able to live it” (Proverbs 16:9).  That means letting Him stay in front.

We can share our stories—I’m big on personal stories.  We can share what we believe His message is and how we think He’s worked in our lives if someone is open to listening.  The listening, though, only comes after God begins stirring in someone’s heart, I think.  He has never stopped leading, so why try to beat Him where He’s going?

Screaming scripture and public prayer likely isn’t gonna make anyone want what you’re doing.  Drop your motives before you start a relationship—that’s not what a relationship is about.

God puts us where we are for a reason.  We are right where He wants us, we are right where we belong.

The only way into a relationship with anybody is to love them where they’re at.

Always love.

if you remember waiting and you’re all that lost, it’s true He’ll bridge the gap . . . carry you across

—life, flyleaf

though the night seems long and hard / just remember, a breath will take you so far / well you breathe in and you breathe out / then you stop, then you shout / when will morning ever come?

peace will lead you home / peace will guide you when you’re alone / breathe deep, breathe deep / tomorrow’s almost here

. . . the night you fear / the silence brings the tears / and daylight seems a long dream away

well you dream big and you dream long / and hope when you awake there’ll be no storm / hold on, help is on the way

and i did not think you wouldn’t be here / and i didn’t think that i would be scared / but i find it hard to breathe / it’s so hard to see you leave / i’m holding on to pieces, holding on to me / it’s the only thing that will see me through

will you see me through / will you see me through? / will you see me through? / will you see me through?

peace, addison road

I LOVE having a God who helps me sort stuff out and who will lead me where I’m going when the time is right . . .

and i am overcome

I’m sharing my testimony at youth on Friday night to the junior highs.  I think in some situations, things just fall together how they’re supposed to be.

I’ve never shared my story more than casually—at Starbucks over coffee, sitting on the floor in my room.  Never to more than one person at a time.  That’s about to change, and I’m really, really excited about it, actually.  I think this is something that God has been stirring in me to do for quite some time.  Friday’s theme is Getting Past my Past, and I think I’ve done a lot of that over the last five and a half years . . . and a lot of realizing that because of God, my past is my past, and it does not have to be my present or my future because of His gift of life.

even now the world is bleeding / but feeling just fine / all numb in our castle / where we’re always free to choose / never free enough to find / i wish something would break / cause we’re running out of time

and i am overcome / holy water in my lungs / i am overcome

there’s women in the street pulling out their hair / my Master’s in the yard, giving light to the unaware / this plastic little place / is just a step amongst the stairs

and i am overcome, baby / holy water in my lungs

so drive me out / out to that open field / turn the ignition off / and spin around / your help is here / but i’m parked in this open space / unlocking the gates of love

beautiful drowning / this beautiful drowning / this holy water / this holy water / is in my lung / and i am overcome / i am overcome / i-i-i am overcome

i am overcome, Lord

overcome, live