my monster has all the time in the day.

pretty, kidneythieves

the only thing stronger than my disaster is You


what i’ve overcome

what i've overcome

The thing I dig so much about this song is that it isn’t preachy in any way.  Because Fireflight is a Christian band, and I’m a Christian, I read it in the Christian context.  But it doesn’t need to be interpreted that way.  The Someone saving us, could be anything—a Higher Power, a significant other, a friend, who saves us from ourselves . . .

I know for me, the Someone saving me, though, is God.  God came into my life at a point where I still didn’t actually believe He existed, but I was ready, so ready, to give up and just quit life.  He continues, day after day, to not let me fall into the same traps of desperation, but to continue to seek out happiness, love and LIFE.  Our passions keep us breathing, believing.  My passion . . . Jesus.

Before I had Him, though . . . I was depressed.  Bullying and the delayed by two and a half years realization that one of your best friends really has died, out of nowhere so it seemed, and really generally just feeling crappy about yourself does that.  I spent the summer of ‘05 in a dark place, and either numb or really down.  I felt defeated, and I felt like there really was no purpose to being here . . . I remember questioning my grade seven social studies teacher on the meaning of life if we’ were all just gonna die anyways . . . that was before the depression stuff really kicked in.  I was curious, but maybe it was a lead.  Because really, what is the point if we’re all just going to die?  I thought that.  I thought death was the answer.

That’s why we need passion.  A reason to change this world while we’re here, and something to keep on living for.

But I overcame that lifelessness inside me.  I opened up my heart to feel again, feel things other than desperation. 

Because the desperate spot?  It was filled with Jesus.

These things, though, the things I’ve done in the past—the depressed stuff, the eating-issue stuff, the mistakes . . . have all shaped who I am.  They have no impact on the way the world perceives me now unless I speak of them, but they’ve changed me.  But in a bigger way, God has changed me.  He gives me second, third, fourth, fifth chances.  He lets me make mistakes, He lets me fall, so He can say “Okay, so what have you learned?”

God has used these things in my past, to break me and build me stronger.