—up there, versaemerge
I don’t have to work for three weeks. Then six weeks to go. Which is nice when my one day a week job is sort of stressing me out and making me not want to go to it. When my coworker and I complain to each other before, after and during shift. But yet she still begged me to come back next year when I told her I was considering not coming back.
My job involves fourth graders who swear like tiny truckers. Other fourth graders who say “Hah, you can’t control children”. Lying. A plethora of physical fights. Stuff that is beyond the normal that I am used to dealing with – I can deal with sports injuries and throwing markers and tears. I can do that. I can’t do the disrespect to themselves, others and my coworkers and I. I suck at that.
Kids who need help I can’t give them. Kids who we try to reach, but an hour a half a week is not enough to reach someone if they keep pushing you away. I’ve learned that. Cold reality.
Hopefully I’ll recharge over the next three week and feel like I can make a difference again. Right now I just feel like I can’t.